A KNOCK at the door. It’s from UNIT 101 – skinny, tattooed, wears a surgical mask indoors.
UNIT 105 – The door is open. A man in his 30s, KENJI “NO PANTS” SAKAMOTO , is ironing a shirt while wearing only briefs and a necktie.
What’s your bottom?
She slams the door. Thumping resumes.
(Sotto voce) Let’s grow.
I forged a degree in marine biology. I’ve never seen the ocean. Regret: none. Hope: to see the ocean.
Unit 203. The previous tenant... stopped sending postcards six months ago. We assume he ascended. Dokushin Apartment Dokudami-sou Episode 1
Morally ambiguous acquisition. I’m a philosophy dropout. Also a petty thief. But I have rules: never from old people, never from kids, always from 7-Eleven because they’re a metaphor for capitalism.
(Ghostly, translucent) I poisoned my second husband with fugu. Regret: he survived. Hope: reincarnation as a house cat.
He hands over a tuna mayo rice ball, still in plastic. A KNOCK at the door
(Long pause) I... I stopped calling my mother three years before she died. Because she didn’t approve of my marriage. And now my wife is gone, my job is gone, and I live in a building with a ghost and a man who irons in his underwear.
“Alimony is non-negotiable. Also, your mother’s urn is in the genkan. Pick it up by Friday.”
Yoichi pulls down his mask. A huge, stupid, genuine smile. A man in his 30s, KENJI “NO PANTS”
