I---: Mircea Cartarescu Theodoros Pdf

And you will understand: we are all footnotes to a book that has not yet decided whether to exist.

Inside, every book was written in a language that tasted of almonds. The librarian was a man made of wax, melting in slow motion, and he handed me a volume titled I--- . I opened it. The first page was blank except for a single dash. The second page: two dashes. The third: three. By the hundredth page, the dashes had become a forest of horizontal lines, and between them, tiny figures moved—my mother as a child, riding a tricycle made of ribs; my first love, her mouth sewn shut with dental floss; a version of myself who had chosen to become a moth, fluttering against the bare bulb of an abandoned train station.

The dash on my arm began to lengthen. By noon it was a hyphen. By evening, an em dash—long enough to lie down in. I lay in the incision, and the library swallowed me whole. i--- Mircea Cartarescu Theodoros Pdf

And so I write this story on my own forearm, with a fountain pen filled with blackberry juice. When you read it, press your thumb to the dash. You will hear a library burning. You will hear Theodoros, the boy who turned into a comma, weeping in the ash.

I had known Mircea Cărtărescu once, in a dream I mistook for a lecture. He was standing on a podium made of butterfly wings, reading from a book whose pages were slices of his own pancreas. “Theodoros,” he whispered, and the word turned into a goldfinch that flew straight into my left eye. That was how I learned to see backwards: the past was a tunnel of light behind my skull, and the future was a dark, heavy organ pressing against my spine. And you will understand: we are all footnotes

I realized I was not reading the book. The book was reading me.

Each dash was a breath I had forgotten to take. Each missing word was a decision I had avoided. Theodoros was not a name but a condition: the state of being both the arrow and the target, the wound and the bandage. I closed the book, and the librarian smiled. His teeth were piano keys playing a nocturne by Scriabin. I opened it

I walked to the sea that wasn’t there. I stood on the shore of absence and listened. The waves were made of paper, and each one turned into a sentence as it broke: You are the book you never wrote. You are the dash between two infinities. You are Mircea’s forgotten footnote, living in the margin of a map of a country that sank.

The dash was a door. And behind it, a library.

I looked at my arm. The dash was gone. In its place, a single word, tattooed in a script I could not read but understood with my spleen: