The music was slowed down by 700%. It sounded like a lullaby being eaten by a whale. The character select screen showed everyone —not just Mario, Peach, Bowser. It showed obscure NPCs from Super Mario Sunshine. It showed Waluigi’s third cousin, "Walugio." It showed a blank silhouette labeled "The 1993 Live-Action Movie Mario."
But somewhere in the digital heart of the Nintendo eShop, a small, forgotten line of code was trembling. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe -0100152000022800--v1245184...
He pressed A.