The game doesn’t let bodies move. I read the patch notes. They don’t move.
Night shift rules: check all six coolers. Identify the host. Burn the correct sigil. I opened Cooler 4. Empty. Cooler 5. A child. Cooler 6. The body I’d already embalmed—Mr. Henderson—was back inside, still wet with my incisions. Except his mouth was open now. Wide. Something dark dripped from his tongue. The Mortuary Assistant Switch NSP -eShop-
I laughed nervously. The cat stared at the bathroom door. It was closed. I don’t have a bathroom connected to my living room. The game doesn’t let bodies move
I heard a locker slam in the hallway behind me. Not in-game. In my actual hallway. The cat arched. The Switch vibrated once—a low, guttural pulse that didn’t match any controller rumble I’ve felt before. The screen displayed a single line of text: Night shift rules: check all six coolers