Weirdest-audition-ever-backroom-casting-couch ⇒

“He’s already moving to Stage two: Anger,” she noted.

“Interesting,” she said. “Reaction: flinch, but didn’t stand up. Thumbs up or thumbs down, Sister?”

The meatball sub looked three days old. The hamster squeaked again – approvingly, I think. weirdest-audition-ever-backroom-casting-couch

I sat. The cushion immediately let out a long, wet fart sound. The woman in the bathrobe made a checkmark on her clipboard.

But I did get a callback. For a yogurt commercial. “He’s already moving to Stage two: Anger,” she noted

I sat back down. Not because I wanted to. Because my body had entered a state of shock.

“I’m not angry, I’m— wait, why is there a spreadsheet?” Thumbs up or thumbs down, Sister

“Stage one: Denial,” said the bathrobe woman.

“Welcome to the weirdest audition of your life,” said the avocado. His voice was surprisingly deep. “I’m Gerald. I handle ‘vibes.’ Please, have a seat on the couch.”

I knocked. A slot slid open. Two bloodshot eyes peered out.