an excerpt from the Windows 93 error hymnal

Would you like to: [ OK ] [ OK BUT FASTER ] [ POUR COFFEE ON THE MOTHERBOARD ]

[ EXPLODING LOGO.EXE has stopped working ] Reason: It worked too hard. It’s tired of being an icon. It wants to be a frog now.

⏣ SYSTEM ERROR: SANITY NOT FOUND ⏣ Please reinstall the ‘90s and try again. Want this as a fake pop-up HTML widget (like the actual Windows 93 desktop prank) or as a printable zine page?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Press ANY key to continue in despair. Or don’t. The hamster running this OS is already on strike.

REGISTRY BEAST DETECTED IN \SYSTEM32\DREAMS

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Windows 93 will now restart in 3 seconds… 3… 2… 1.5… π… A grape…

> Close. > Ignore. > Dance.

FATAL: The mouse cursor has divorced the mouse. It now identifies as a spinning CD-ROM from 1994. Please insert your childhood to continue.

CRITICAL ERROR: The “Close” button opened a portal to a Geocities page about wizards. The wizard wants your Social Security Number and a JPEG of a dancing baby.